the effects of divorce on families and children and about what policies and programs might work to promote and strengthen hea

Social problems

{Divorce}

By: Mariam Helal Aldhahri

200907294

Essay

Sociology 202

United Arab Emirates University

(2013-2014)

AbstractWith the rising number of divorces during the past decade serious questions are being raised in the literature concerning the future of marriage and the impact of marital dissolution on members of the family. Unfortunately social scientists have continued to examine the consequences of divorce only on a singular and somewhat sporadic basis. It is time that a concerted effort was undertaken to examine the consequences of divorce. There has been an increasing focus on social problems facing the UAE society. Issues such as divorce, late marriage, drug addiction, family violence and sexual harassment have become a source of concern. In the task, I will try to focus on divorce as a social problem all over the world but I’ll talk about it especially in UAE. I’ll talk about what about the effects of divorce on families and children and about what policies and programs might work to promote and strengthen healthy marriages, especially among the poor. I’ll explain the effects of divorce, and single parenthood on children. The central focus of my remarks will be to explicate the role that marital education, family counseling, and related services might play in promoting and strengthening healthy marriages.

Contents

TOC o “1-3” h z u HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108086” Abstract PAGEREF _Toc378108086 h 2

HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108087” Introduction PAGEREF _Toc378108087 h 3

HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108088” The History PAGEREF _Toc378108088 h 4

HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108089” The main points PAGEREF _Toc378108089 h 5

HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108090” Discussion PAGEREF _Toc378108090 h 5

HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108091” My point view PAGEREF _Toc378108091 h 10

HYPERLINK l “_Toc378108092” Conclusion PAGEREF _Toc378108092 h 10

IntroductionDivorce is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between a married couple. Divorce laws vary considerably around the world, but in most countries it requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process of divorce may also involve issues of alimony (spousal support), child custody, child support, distribution of property, and division of debt.

Divorce can be a stressful experience affecting finances, living arrangements, household jobs, schedules and more. If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected. Parents’ divorce for many reasons. Usually divorce happens when couples feel they can no longer live together due to fighting and anger, or because the love they had when they married has changed. Divorce can also be because one parent falls in love with someone else, and sometimes it is due to a serious problem like drinking, abuse, or gambling. Sometimes nothing bad happens, but parents just decide to live apart.

If the parents are divorcing, children may experience many feelings. Their emotions may change frequently, too. They may feel stressed out, angry, frustrated, or sad. You might feel protective of one parent or blame one for the situation. They may feel abandoned, afraid, worried, or guilty. Also They may feel relieved, especially if there has been a lot of tension or fighting at home. These feelings are very typical and talking about their families with a friend, family member, or trusted adult can really help.

The HistoryIn Islamic law and marital jurisprudence, divorce is referred to as talaq Khula is the right of a woman in Islam to divorce or separate from her husband. The triple talaq is a mechanism for divorce which exists in Sunni sect of Islam while rejected by the Shia sect. Talaq (conflict) deals with the relationship between religious and secular systems for terminating the marriage in the conflict of laws.

According to Youssef Rapport, in the 15th century, the rate of divorce was higher than it is today in the modern Middle East, which has generally low rates of divorce. In 15th century Egypt, Al-Sakhawi recorded the marital history of 500 women, the largest sample on marriage in the Middle Ages, and found that at least a third of all women in the Mamluk Sultanate of Egypt and Syria married more than once, with many marrying three or more times. According to Al-Sakhawi, as many as three out of ten marriages in 15th century Cairo ended in divorce. In the early 20th century, some villages in western Java and the Malay Peninsula had divorce rates as high as 70%.

Divorce is a rising family issue. There was considerable research done on this topic since the 1980’s. In 1989, the rate was 4.7 divorces per 1,000 people in a population. Projections call for between one-half and two-thirds of recently contracted first marriages to end in divorce (Kitson and Morgan, 1990). More than one million children experience parental divorce every year. The increase in marital dissolution has had major implications for the settings in which children are nurtured and socialized (Amato, 2000). There are ramifications of divorce that can include economic, social, and psychological stresses affecting parent-child relationships, as well as the potential for psychopathology within the relationship (Wallerstein, 1985) .

The main pointsThe main aim of the task presented in this paper is to provide a A brief summary about divorce as a social problem . The task is intended as a starting point for further in-depth research in this area. In order to get a better understanding of the problem, I’ll make several interviews with different generations to gather information about the problem of divorce in the UAE between the past and the present. I will outline the causes of divorce and its consequences, especially for children.. I try to discuss the problem of divorce from my Opinion and I will offer some recommendations and solutions to reduce to this problem.

DiscussionThe UAE has recorded the highest divorce rate in the region. In Dubai alone, 1,129 divorces took place last year – more than three per day. The figure is even more alarming for Emiratis, who make up less than one-fifth of the population but account for over one third of all divorces.

So what’s gone wrong? Why aren’t couples here unable to sail through the ups and downs that come with every relationship?

We used national data from several generations to assess explanations for the intergenerational transmission of marital instability, Some based on relationship skills and the other based on marital commitment. The older generation ( my grandfather) said that old life was simple and the requirements of the family as well as the limited ambitions for the future is simple, so there was no burden on the couple. The family provides financial and moral support to their guys in order to sustain life and family stability and keep safety for the children .

Now with the rapid technological advances woman went out to work and now has high aspirations in life may outweigh the level of household income , which pushes the pair of loans from banks or escape from the weight of the demands of life to his own life. Do not forget the high cost of dowries prompted some men to marry other nationalities in different customs and traditions of the UAE society which ultimately caused them to divorce.

When I asked the second generation ( my mother) and my aunts said that early marriage with poor education about married life and the existence of some wrong information may lead to repulsion between the couple. In the past sons are married with their families in the same house so imagine a home where three generations of Emirati women live together. Different thinking which leads to the existence of a gap between them may lead to divorce.

The mother may be in a marriage where she knows something is wrong, but she wants to be accepted in society, so she turns to religion or family and finds happiness a different way.

But the new generation (as me) don’t want their mother’s or their grandmother’s life. These are intelligent young ladies who go to college. They want to succeed in family, but they want to succeed in society as well.’

By discussion with my friends found that our generation is looking forward to the independence of his life away from the others and enjoy modern life and raise his children in a modern style. For more deep knowledge about the problem of divorce, I asked my father about marital life, he said: the marriage bond is sacred does not require each complexities posed by modern life and the high cost of dowries and exaggeration in requests for marriage so divorce was rare, but with the increased burdens of life and understanding the true meaning of marriage as a first step to a family led to rise divorce rates .

I also asked my brother, a student at the secondary level for his conception of life and marital problems between the couple which may be led to divorce. My brother said that every person wants to enjoy his life and completes his studies to gain suitable work enough requirements and establishes the house of life and be prepared psychologically for marriage then he can marry.

I also do not want a marriage traditionally by the family, but I look forward to the marriage of the girl I love her and she loves me to enjoy our lives together and we travel around the world. Married after a love story makes life better for the couple because all of the disadvantages of the other party bear and rarely happens divorce.

Finally , I was having a conversation with my divorced friend and the subject came up. she said that she did not believe in divorce no matter what. She’s divorced, but she did not expect it or want it. I don’t always agree divorce is the answer, even though I am divorced, but I know that sometimes it happens. Sometimes it is a good thing to happen like with abusive people and other times it is just a case of people getting tired of being with the same person.

These differences can make discussing marital problems between generations’ nearly impossible, leaving young women who are looking for advice with nobody to turn to. Modern marriage is not easy for Emirati men, either. Traditionally, material expectations of the bride’s family are high, and young men are often compelled to work multiple jobs to provide for their family. If the man already feels he is not measuring up, and then his wife starts to succeed professionally herself, this puts the marriage under strain. So why marry when there are so many potential problems? ‘There is pressure in Emirati tradition to be married and have a family

Based on the above interviews with people of different generation and estranged couples we have compiled a list of the top ten reasons for divorce.

1. Infidelity: Extramarital relationships are the leading cause of divorce in the UAE. Nearly one in five men [19 per cent] has been unfaithful to his partner while six per cent of the women admitted infidelity, a YouGov Siraj survey showed.

2. Poor communication: Lack of communication is a true destroyer of marriages. Among Emiratis, it ranks ahead of lack of love, infidelity or physical violence, according to a study commissioned by the UAE Marriage Fund. Most of the 1,742 divorced Emirati women covered in the survey cited absence of communication as the main reason behind breakups.

3. Loss of job: A job loss will tear apart a family anywhere in the world that would lead to a breakup.

4. Religious and cultural differences: In a country that is home to 200 nationalities, marriages between people of different religions and cultures are common. But when other factors push these marriages to the edge of a precipice, religious and cultural differences often lead to breakups. “Nearly 80 per cent of couples .

5. Lack of support system: Not every couple can cope with life in a foreign land without the support of family and friends. Relocation is a life-changing experience, especially when kids come into the picture. “It makes a couple vulnerable to either getting totally involved in their respective duties not wanting to bother the other partner, or them feeling very lonely and depressed,” says Mary John, consultant psychologist, Dubai Community Health Centre. The problem could get aggravated when the partner is the only support system. “We can’t expect our partner to be our partner, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, mother, father, etc. This often leads to unrealistic expectations, which inevitably lead to disappointment and often heartbreak,” says Dr Lavina.

6. Unrealistic expectations: Many couples who relocate to marriage dream of leading a life of luxury. But when reality hits hard, they often drift apart. False expectations have also been cited as reasons for failed marriages among Emiratis. Afra Al Basti, Director General of the Dubai Foundation for Women and Children, puts it down to immature behaviour. Marriage counsellors said such couples should sit down and try to work out a mutually acceptable solution.

7. Social networking: With nearly half its population registered with social networking sites more and more couples are blaming Facebook and Twitter for destroying their relationships. Counsellors say there have seen a significant rise in cases where partners have admitted their addiction to social media sites has affected their relationships.

8. Sexual incompatibility: Long commutes and work hours that come with a Dubai lifestyle not just lead to stress and obesity but also affects sex drive. According to sexologists, being stuck in traffic for hours can cause people to lose their sexual desire.

9. Financial negligence: Money often becomes a contentious issue for working couples, especially when a partner earns more than the other, said Dr Lavina. “It can be a touchy issue with couples and families , especially if both individuals have different ideas regarding money management.

10. Child rearing issues: In the absence of a family support system, many new working couples struggle to share responsibilities when they have children. This strain often drives a wedge in career oriented parents, resulting in separation.

My point viewDivorce should only happen if betrayed, you’ve been physically abused, or mentally. as it will affect your whole life and how you see your future. Divorce means failure to some and does effect ones self-worth . if there is any chance of working it out it is always best to do it that way, but it requires two and if both don’t want the same thing its useless to even try to convince the other person. divorce destroys the heart, steals your joy, and all you have worked on and invested in. there’s no way it won’t affect ones future and how they see life. I think you should do whatever you can to save your marriage. , I think if you have tried everything… you might as well get out. Why be unhappy forever? That may be a long time.

Relative theory

The best theory I found after reading the five of theory for this issue is functionalist theory, which is one of the major theoretical perspectives in sociology. And interprets each part of society it contributes to the stability of the whole society. In addition, the divorce is a serious issue with major implications for children, men, women, and society. So the functionalism has received criticism for neglecting the negative functions of an event like divorce..

ConclusionMany factors have contributed to this rising number of divorce rates. Experts suggest that some of the reasons include couples being married too early, too many cultures in the country and the financial strains of marriage in UAE. Furthermore, experts claim say that apart from social and economic factors, couples have unrealistic expectations of married life.

“Adding to the social factors that fuel the trend of divorce, are unrealistic expectations; that is people marrying without understanding that it’s not going to always be milk and honey, but that marriage, like any project in life, requires hard work, reviews and maintenance,”. Most divorce reasons are un-agreeable , as deep psychological or mental wounds such as adultery, not understanding each other , different viewpoints , not sharing housework together , but sex gains highest rate . Another aspect relating to divorce is money , to be one of reasons effecting physical living and difficult living , domestic violence, early marriage . However, its show that the spirit living nowadays is very important and decides existence of family

Other factors such as age and knowledge difference and early marriage are not major causes leading to divorce. Since the society is more and more improved, the people’s awareness is enhanced; they have freedom to choose their wife or husband and to decide their life by themselves. Therefore, these reasons are not main ones of the divorce.

In summary, surveyed result shows that the major reasons conducting divorce are work pressure impacting to family life, many opportunities meeting people, female being independent on their financial status and different ideas. All these factors originate from society and family being more developed,

Children who grow up in an intact, two-parent family with both biological parents present do better on a wide range of outcomes than children who grow up in a single-parent family. Single parenthood is not the only, nor even the most important, cause of the higher rates of school dropout, teenage pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, or other negative outcomes we see; but it does contribute independently to these problems. Neither does single parenthood guarantee that children will not succeed; many, if not most, children who grow up in a single-parent household do succeed.

An emerging body of evidence suggests that marital education, family counseling, and related services can improve middle-class couples’ communication and problem-solving skills, resulting initially in greater marital satisfaction and, in some cases, reduced divorce, although these effects appear to fade over time. To find out whether and what types of policies and programs might successfully strengthen marriage as an institution among low-income populations as well as among a wide variety of ethnically and culturally diverse populations, our national focus should be on the design, implementation, and rigorous evaluation of these initiatives.

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